The Chronicles Of Narnia is considered to be one of the most
significant fantasy literature works of our time. Little Debbie Swiss
Cakes Rolls, on the other hand, fall into the less glamorous realm of being
classified as the typical snack cake. At first glance, the two appear
to have absolutely nothing in common. However, delving further into
the intentions of the creators of both items (and, perhaps, the right amount
of controlled substances) alarming similarities begin to appear between
them.
Written by C.S. Lewis, The Chronicles Of Narnia is a series of
seven books centering on the adventures of a small group of children. In
the first book, the youngest child wanders too far into an old wardrobe and
happens upon a world caught in perpetual winter, called Narnia. The
later books tell of both her and her friends' adventures in this strange
land where animals have the ability to speak. Although this series
has been judged as being light children's reading by many, a large number
of references to the teachings of the Bible can be seen beneath its fairy
tale atmosphere. An analysis of this would take volumes to cover
thoroughly; therefore, suffice it to say that it is plain that C.S. Lewis's
aim was to provide religious teachings in a form acceptable to young
people.
How does this masterpiece of literature compare to the snack cake? A
skeptical superficial glance would suggest that both are merely sickeningly
sweet. Since the books have been written off as childish fluff and
the main ingredient of the cakes is sugar, one could support this opinion.
However, many more similarities do exist.
Beginning from the outside, the Swiss Cake Rolls are packaged in boxes
of twelve, within which, the cakes are wrapped in six pairs. Images
of twelve disciples, a strong biblical reference, immediately spring to mind.
Another striking resemblance to the Chronicles is the fact that
each box has a net weight of 13 ounces. Subtracting the number of packages
from this weight yields the number seven, the exact number of books in the
series! (On an interesting side note, this manner of packaging is
reminiscent of J.R.R. Tolkien's famous fantasy trilogy, The Lord Of The
Rings, in that each book of the trilogy contains two smaller books.
However, almost another entire essay could be written on the similarities
between Swiss Cake Rolls and this masterwork of literature).
The Swiss Cake Roll itself is a cylindrically shaped chocolate cake
covered with a layer of chocolate and filled with a spiral band of cream.
It is upon this structure that a majority of the similarities to the
Narnia books exist. Most apparent is the thick, dark, outer material
surrounding the much lighter, fluffier inner substance. This corresponds
directly to the solid reality of the dark house and wardrobe surrounding
the unstable realities of an entirely different world. It should also
be noted that Narnia, when it was first entered by the children, was in the
depths of a perpetual winter and covered with snow, the very color of the
cream center.
The fact that this is not a solid layer of cream and, rather, a design
which is interrupted by the dark, outer layer could be compared to either
of two ideas. A definite similarity can be drawn with the entering
of people from this dark, outer world to the light inner one. However,
a more general view suggests that the cake was designed in this way to show
that an evil blackness inhabits even the purest of good things. This
may be compared directly to the evil witch who was controlling Narnia at
the time of its endless winter.
Viewing the cake design in this way, it can be seen why this snack can
give us more insight than others. A similar snack food to the Swiss
Cake Roll is the Oreo cookie, which shares the same color scheme (dark layers
surrounding a light cream center). However, no comparisons can be drawn
between this cookie and books since it both lacks the spiral shape and it
is eaten from the middle outward, a technique that does not work well in
reading fantasy literature.
Finally, the law of diminishing utility declares that the more of something
you have, the less you will enjoy each successive part. The same is
true of the Swiss Cake Roll. The first bite is always the best, with
each bite thereafter adding less new taste and merely more cakey goo in one's
mouth. This may be compared to Narnia, which is a flat world. The
ocean at the edges of the world grows shallower and shallower as one approaches
the edge until it is no more than a few inches deep. The similarity
between these two decreasing qualities is awe-inspiring.
In conclusion, I must recommend that you do not eat ANY of the seven
books in The Chronicles Of Narnia. Although many agree that
the outside of a Swiss Cake Roll tastes much like the cover of a book, the
white paper used to print the actual pages of the book simply is not a good
substitute for the taste of the fake cream filling of the snack cake.
By the same token, I urge you even more strongly not to read the box
that the Swiss Cake Rolls come in. Among the ingredients listed are
"polysorbate 60 and vegetable mono". While the polysorbate 60 may be
similar in nutrition to an Alba '77, I dare not speculate on the properties
of "vegetable mono". However, this ingredient brings to light one final
comparison in that no meat is contained in a Swiss Cake Roll, only vegetable
and chemical products. It is easy to see that in a world such as Narnia,
where animals can talk, such a product would be welcomed, since all of its
occupants are quite necessarily vegetarians.
©1985 James (Gary) Geniesse